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Friday, June 11, 2010

Purpose

We have been here in lovely Mount Juliet, Tennessee for 1 year. We are about 20-30 minutes away from downtown Nashville, which is such a cool place. When Marc first told me his job might involve moving to Nashville, I was pretty upset. I asked him if he wanted to live in Nashville. His answer was an immediate "NO!" He asked me and my answer was, "NO!" End of discussion.

Then, a couple of months later, his work did decide to move to Nashville and wanted to take Marc with them. During that time I think the Lord was working on my heart, because when Marc called to tell me that, I said,"Let's go!" I just kept thinking - "possibilities!" Where did that come from? Now I can see it came directly from the heart of our Heavenly Father. He has provided in every single way getting us from Phoenix to this place.

Once we got settled in, we found a wonderful church home at Calvary Chapel Rivergate. Within about a month, Marc was playing his bass on the worship team. His job was a lot harder than in Phoenix, but it was good. The kids started school and were starting to make friends. I was left alone in our beautiful house with a beautiful view and nothing to do. I can't leave the house unless someone takes me out, so there were many weeks that I only got out on Sundays to go to church or the doctor. In Phoenix, I was involved in our women's Bible study. I had friends coming over on a pretty regular basis. I had a lot of times to go out and do something. I knew what my pupose was. I was very comfortable and content.

After reality began to sink in, and it didn't feel like we were just on a long vacation, I started feeling so useless. I know I have an important job as a wife and mother. I love that job. But I just didn't know what my purpose was beyond that. When Marc and the kids would leave for work and school, I would have hours of time slowly ticking away. As I started making friends at church, and I would get to go out for coffee and a little shopping, or have really great talks on the phone.

But there were still all of these empty hours. At times I felt trapped. Trapped in this MS body, trapped in my wheelchair, even trapped in my house. In so many ways this move has been the best thing for us, but so hard for me personally. I've had to learn to trust Jesus and His plan for my life, to be content in a whole new way. I've had my faith tested and learned again that God does ALL things well. I'm not trapped. I only start feeling that way when I take my eyes off the Lord and I start trying to figure everything out. I forgot that my greatest purpose is to love and be loved by Almighty God.

One of the first Scriptures I learned was Proverbs 3:5-6, Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. I still forget, and He still reminds me. And now He has given me something to do! I have this blog.

His purpose for me here looks different than it looked in Phoenix. He has brought wonderful new friends into my life and expanded my heart to welcome them in. He has brought our family closer together and drawn me closer to Himself.

No matter where we are, our abilities or inabilities, our strengths or weaknesses, our God can use us. He loves each one of His dear children and He has wonderful, good plans for us.

'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.'   -Jeremiah 29:11

2 comments:

  1. Ylisa, I just caught up on all of your posts. I have no doubt that you are right in the middle of God's will. Making yourself vulnerable and putting your thoughts out there for others to be inspired and encouraged by. I am proud of you. Love you

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